At the Airport (Rolf)

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 04:12:04 -0700

Last night, Karina and I managed to get enough packing and preparing done, so that we could attend our last contact improv dance in Goa. It was certainly a beautiful way to spend our last evening together, connecting physically, wordlessly, with each other, and with a group of dear friends. At the end of the dance, we were all one big cuddle puddle on the floor, breathing together. It seemed like nobody wanted the connection to end!

This morning, we woke up to find the weather was different from other recent mornings. It was clear and bright, and there was a unusual and refreshing coolness in the air. Karina and I went for a final swim, returning all the shells we had collected from the beach over the past months, by sinking them in a coconut shell, back into the Arabian sea, where they came from.

We didn’t now it when we booked our tickets to leave, but today is the first day of the Hindu new year. An auspicious day, to begin new lives, as individuals. After we finished packing up the house, our landlord, Mahesh, gave us a ride to the airport, in his taxi. Karina and I held hands all the way, during the 90 minute drive

Karina left me alone, just 20 minutes ago, as she waved and walked through security to her earlier flight. I can feel that my eyes are still swollen and red, as I write this. I am sitting in a row of leather airport chairs, with people bustling past, and flights being announced on the PA system.

Karina and I asked one last question of each other, just before separating: “What do you most hope for me, in this next phase of my life?”
My answer to her, “That you feel free.”
Her answer to me, “That you feel loved.”

Goodbyes to the Locals (Rolf)

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 23:14:23 -0700

Yesterday, Karina and I said our goodbyes to our friends at the O’Saiba beach resort and restaurant, whose hand-built, wooden footbridge we have been crossing, at least twice a day, for the past five months, to access the beach; and whose lounge chairs we have meditated on countless times. We presented the owner, Sunny, with a large framed collection of photos that we have been taking, of all the employees, either on our way to, or from, the beach. We also had prints made for each worker, as well as for many other locals in Mandrem, the Goan village in which we have been living.

We have so appreciated all the greetings and short conversations we have shared with these warm and loving people, each time we saw them. In all those months, we only actually ate at the restaurant twice, as the food was disappointing, but seeing them every day on the way to the beach, we all became friends, anyway. My own closest friend at the beach resort, P.K. from Kashmir, who, as the season comes to an end, is also on his way home today, made a point of waiting for us to pass by, and then gave me a big long hug, saying, “I love you.” The tears in his eyes were irresistible, and I ended up crying, too.

Letting Go, and Transforming Waking Up Together

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 10:51:25 -0700

Dear Friends,

Karina and I are preparing to leave our winter home in Goa, but this time round, after four years of togetherness, we shall be moving in separate directions. In the past few months, the two of us have been through some emotional and spiritual cleansing, which was intensified by the process of co-writing a book on conscious relationships, and by experiences following the miscarriage of our baby, in December.

From the beginning, Rolf and I have been clear that our relationship need not last a specific amount of time, to be considered successful. Now, although we did not see it coming, we feel that our beautiful adventure together may be complete. We have some thoughts about why this is happening now; what our "reasons" are for separating. But the reality is that the impulse arose and, rather than dissolving in the discussions that followed, the idea has gained traction in both our beings, despite deep-rooted feelings of attachment towards each other, and to feeling sheltered within the relationship. Since Karina and I met, we have been supporting each other in trusting our impulses and desires. During our nomadic life together, we have often left beautiful living situations behind, on a whim, with neither of us knowing what would come next. By doing so, repeatedly, we have learned that there is an abundance of beautiful living situations, which can only be revealed when we let go of what we already know, and move on. This partnership is yet another, extraordinarily beautiful, living situation; combining loving attention, deep intimacy, and the freedom to grow and blossom. When the impulse comes to end our relationship, are we willing to follow it? Must we over-analyze all the pros and cons, or are we able to trust that the Universe is guiding us towards something equally, or perhaps even more, inspiring? Although Rolf and I still love each other, we both feel it is time to willingly set each other free, knowing that the next phase in our lives, as fully independent beings, may be just as full of creativity and loving connections. The two of us have been blogging, more frequently and openly than ever, about our recent experiences, so more detail is available on our website, for those who are interested.

We are aware of the apparent irony of splitting up, just as we were making such progress on the writing of our book, about how we co-create, surrender to, and nurture, the extraordinary love we have been experiencing with each other. Karina and I may, or may not, finish the book. We both still feel inspired by the intention of the work, and by the content which has already been created. Now, we are envisioning another chapter: one about letting go. We will keep you posted, and are hopeful that we will find our way to completing the project.

As our relationship transforms, so will our website, www.WakingUpTogether.com. As the evolution of humanity accelerates, all of us are going to be waking up from unconscious and inherited patterns. Doing it together strengthens the fires of transformation. So far, the site has been focused mainly on sharing what happens when two lovers agree to devote their togetherness, however long it may last, to awakening Consciousness. As Rolf and I move towards separate lives again, we will be opening up, and changing, the format of WakingUpTogether.com, to become a moderated community, which inspires personal growth and new possibilities for living -- both in its contributors and in its readers. If you are receiving this email it is because you have already inspired us in some way, or have allowed us to inspire you. We are looking for people who are interested in sharing their stories from the path of awakening. Both regular and one-time contributors are welcome. Please send submissions, or any questions, to wakinguptogether@gmail.com. We invite you, and people you know, to share what actually happened during those moments of realization, as well as to share awareness practices that have made a difference for you, and to share experiences and/or photos from ecstatic gatherings, etc. The more personal and intimate the material, the better.

It has been exactly four years, since Karina and I first met, at Esalen, in California. The synchronicity feels somehow reassuring, when occasional moments of doubt arise in our minds. There is so much that we are grateful for. The love we have shared has helped us both to heal old wounds and become better people. We are certainly more awake than before, and our love seems to have inspired others, along the way. In the past, Rolf and I have often imagined creating a Letting Go ceremony, witnessed by our community, at the end of our relationship. Something like a wedding, but with the intention of setting each other free, and expressing gratitude for what we have already learned and experienced together, with a beautiful slide show of our photography, and plenty of dancing, tears and laughter. After some time apart, we may follow through on this idea, perhaps in a few months. We shall see.

This Tuesday, we will be taking a taxi to the airport together, but from there, Karina will be flying to Dharmasala in the Himalayan foothills for a couple of weeks, and then to Berkeley, California, to dance, play, and live life as an independent woman. For work, she will be focusing on her photography services, so please contact her if you are interested in creating some beautiful photos together. Rolf's airplane will take him to Thailand for a week, and then on to Bali, Indonesia, where he is looking forward to reconnecting and dancing with the community in Ubud, for a while. He intends to further develop, and offer, Transformational Photography, and an exciting new breathing technique for meditation. After training and practicing together in Goa, Rolf and Karina will both also be offering Ayurvedic Yoga Massage, on opposite sides of the world.

Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy message. We look forward to connecting with you again soon, either in text, or in person.

We love you.

Rolf + Karina